For this exercise we are supposed to spend our time reserved for class doing something that brings us happiness. Afterwards we talk about how our fear interacts with our creative space.
Does your creative zone have to be physical?
I don't think my creative zone has to be physical. I prefer that it is something physical or tangible, but for the most part I usually play out different ideas in my head before I attempt to bring them into a physical realm.
Before going into the bliss assignment I had to come up with some ideas for the upcoming fear assignment. This is what I have come up with so far... I am afraid of falling from tall heights but that does not ever stop me from pursuing the top. I am afraid of spiders, but I always catch them with my bare hands and release them back outside. That sums up the small things that I am "afraid" of. I only write afraid like that, because I feel like if it where something that was truly scary some part of myself would hesitate, but I don't. The fears I have that make me hesitate are more like anxieties that occur for me when I feel like I am presented with the threat of it. Failure that feels like a lack of control is something that gives me anxiety. Sexual abuse or being targeted for some form of sexual abuse is something else that gives me anxiety. I don't think I can focus on my anxiety over sexual abuse without breaking something inside of myself. However, I can talk about my anxieties related to failure and a lack of control without totally loosing myself.
Obstacles related to Fear/Anxiety:
1. It is hard to come up with ideas, because there is not much in this world that I am afraid of and I have been taught my whole life to confront the things that make me react with some semblance of fear..
Does your creative zone have to be physical?
I don't think my creative zone has to be physical. I prefer that it is something physical or tangible, but for the most part I usually play out different ideas in my head before I attempt to bring them into a physical realm.
Before going into the bliss assignment I had to come up with some ideas for the upcoming fear assignment. This is what I have come up with so far... I am afraid of falling from tall heights but that does not ever stop me from pursuing the top. I am afraid of spiders, but I always catch them with my bare hands and release them back outside. That sums up the small things that I am "afraid" of. I only write afraid like that, because I feel like if it where something that was truly scary some part of myself would hesitate, but I don't. The fears I have that make me hesitate are more like anxieties that occur for me when I feel like I am presented with the threat of it. Failure that feels like a lack of control is something that gives me anxiety. Sexual abuse or being targeted for some form of sexual abuse is something else that gives me anxiety. I don't think I can focus on my anxiety over sexual abuse without breaking something inside of myself. However, I can talk about my anxieties related to failure and a lack of control without totally loosing myself.
Obstacles related to Fear/Anxiety:
1. It is hard to come up with ideas, because there is not much in this world that I am afraid of and I have been taught my whole life to confront the things that make me react with some semblance of fear..
2. The only real things that make me feel something close to fear, is not really "fear" but more of an anxiety.
After Thoughts-
3. I am having trouble coming up with a school appropriate way to depict my "fear".
4. I don't have the materials I need for any of the ideas I come up with.
5. I don't experience certain things, because I choose not to experience them for my own personal well being.
-Even though this keeps me generally safe, it can hold me back in some situations.
What if question:
1. What if I confront all of the above mentioned fears/anxieties through different forms of art and see which ones I struggle with most.
- Example: climbing to the top of a tall building and taking pictures of the Indianapolis skyline or sculpting a spider.
2. What if I use stuff from around my house to supplement the missing supplies I would need?
- Example: nail polish instead of paint
3.What if I open myself to new possibilities?
The more I thought about the fear assignment during the bliss exercise, I began to realize how much anxiety I associated with lack of control in certain situations. In every bad situation I have ever been in the thing I always struggled with most was the lack of control I felt in those situations. Not even just lack of control, but like that lack of control was equivalent to weakness or being weak.
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